Sorry for the silence. Ever since the Monkey has grown out of cluster feeding and sleeping for hours on end, on me, I've struggled to find the time...or energy...to blog. It gets to 7pm, the Monkey is in bed and I'm whacked. Ridiculous really.
Here's an update:
Amazingly, the Monkey is now 5 months old. He's discovered he has thumbs. He likes singing. He loves whacking his toys and hanging from the bars in his baby gym. He has a penchant for rattles. Fake sneezes really tickle him.. He's rolled over a grand total of three times.
And believe it or not...the Monkey now loves the car - hurrah!! In fact, I find myself taking detours to prolong naps these days. Who would have thunk?!
What I'm learning more about being a mum is to accept that the Monkey has 'phases'. His car aversion was just a phase. I wish someone had told me this.
The recent 'phase' is to wake up and demand food every couple of hours in the night. Oh boy. This is a particularly trying 'phase' but I have to accept that it won't last forever.
If you don't accept this, then it's very easy to get caught up in the panic that sleepless nights might be a permanent fixture...for the rest of your life. Or that you might be creating a little monster with terrible terrible habits. One such night when this panic set in, I tried to 'train' the Monkey. 'I will NOT give you the boob,' I thought with determination. I will toughen you up and force you to learn about the essential life skill of self-soothing. Needless to say, we had a miserable night. The next day my sister - who has two small boys and survived two years of sleep deprivation - assured me that Tom was just going through a 'phase' and by Christmas things would be better. The next night the Monkey slept pretty well. Harmony was restored.
I think our fear of bad habits is responsible for a lot of agonising and over-analysing amongst new mums. The voices start...
'You know having your baby in bed with you is creating a rod for your back.'
'If you don't let him cry, he'll never learn.'
'He's got you wrapped around your little finger.'
HE'S A BABY FOR GOD'S SAKE. Chill out and leave me alone!!!
Whether it's a dummy, or the bed, or feeding to sleep, or rocking to sleep, or too many naps in the pram and not enough in the cot, they will grow out of these phases eventually...if you want them too. Your baby won't turn into a dummy-sucking, middle-aged man who demands a boob with his morning paper. So CHILL OUT! Give us a break!! And stop the guilt.
There is no greater pleasure than snuggling up with the Monkey for an afternoon nap in our bed...or sneaking him into it in the early hours of the morning. Yet, a niggling voice makes me feel bad about it somehow. So what if my baby doesn't come with a timetable? So what if he prefers napping in my sling? So what if he needs help to fall asleep? It won't last forever but while it does I'm going to enjoy the cuddles and the closeness that is so precious in these early months.
Habits shnabits.
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